No Need for Role Play

I see a lot of people wanting to fit in! They want to be accepted by their peers and don't want to draw negative attention to themselves. I can recognize these people because I use to be one of them. I had the desire to be like everyone else. My misconceived notion of normality or coolness had me ACTING. Trying to play a part I was not casted for. I never felt particularly drawn to clubs or bars but I did it because that's what everyone else was doing my age. I never felt like I fit in but I made myself fit in. I played the part and acted like I wanted to do those things knowing I didn't. God never casted me to play a role that fit into what other people were doing. He casted me to play a role he designed specifically for me.

 Folks, we have to learn to stop turning down the roles God gives us for the roles the world wants us to play. We were all designed for a specific purpose. When will we stop trying to Fit in with the world and start standing out for God? Those who follow Christ are different. We tend to stick out because we are not of the world so no matter how good we are at acting in the world our true self will always come out. As soon as we accept the facts that we weren't born to fit in, and that we are called to a higher purpose, and that Gods plan for us is better than our plans for ourselves we can truly walk boldly on the path that God has for us. Don't be pressured into being someone you know you’re not. God loves us so much. We don't need people's pat on the backs but we need to be faithful to Gods calling. Some bible verses we should remember are as follows:

 1 Peter 2:9; “But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” 

Romans 12:2; “Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect”

John 15:16; “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you”

John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you”

God wants us to be on His team, which is why he chose us. We all want to be wanted and to be loved and to be chosen. Often times we go to people with the desires for them to fill in those areas. No one can love us more than God. His love and desire to build a relationship with us was so strong He sent his only son to die on the cross for our sins. God wants us, but He wants us to want Him back. We don’t need to try to fit in because God designed us to stand out. So let us say goodbye to playing different roles so we can fit in. And let’s say hello to walking confidently in Gods purpose for our lives.

So Many Demands To Be Good

Have you ever performed in front of 40,000 people? I haven't. That's a rough estimate of the amount of people at the World Cup. This is one of the biggest sporting events in the world. I can only imagine the amount of pressure those athletes feel to succeed. They have trained year around for this ultimate moment. For some of those players they might not get the chance again to compete at such a high level. So they have to focus devoting themselves to giving all they have and leaving the field exhausted. With such high demands how could they give anything but there best? Don't we all go through something similar? We might not be playing soccer in an arena holding 40,000 people, but don't we all have high demands on us? These demands include but are not limited to being a good wife, husband, mother, father, Christian, employer, boss, students, teacher, counselor, or big brother/ sister. Sometimes it can be very difficult to be good at anything with so many things claiming your attention, and needing you to give your best. The pressure to be good at all we do can easily becoming overwhelming.

 Our desires to be successful can consume us and stop us from building a relationship with God. Folks, to build a relationship with God we must spend time with him daily. Have you ever wanted to get to know someone but ignored there text, calls, and avoided their presence? That's a fail. I understand how busy life can get, but nothing should come before our relationship with God. He doesn't forget to wake us up, but we forget to thank Him. He doesn't forget to bless us, but we forget to tell people about Him. He's not too busy for us, but we are too busy to spend time with Him. God loves us so much but if we are being honest, can't we all admit to taking advantage of His love and grace? Constantly being too busy to give God the attention He desires. Thankfully we serve an understanding and forgiving God.

When I spend time with God consistently I am more patient, I have more peace, little things don't annoy me as easily, and I'm much more joyful. The trouble comes when I separate myself from my MAIN source of love, strength, joy, and compassion. When I'm away from my Heavenly Father I'm not spreading His word, He's not being seen through me, and I'm not at my best. If we can be intentional about working out, eating right, spending time with friends, we need to be intentional about spending time with God. 

Some people asked me, what do I do when I spend time with God? I journal, listen to worship music, talk to him, read and study His word, and just simply enjoy being in his presence. We have to stop letting to do list take over our lives, and start letting God in to do that. Nothing on a typical to do list will save you or help you through tough times or fix your insecurities. Let go and let God! I know I'm guilty of saying with my mouth I want a closer relationship with God, but not letting my actions reflect it. I might have a week of praying daily and sitting in God’s presence but then I will get busy. Life will get me caught up and all of the sudden it's been 2 or 3 days before I sit and speak with God. I've noticed many times in my relationship with God its take, take, take from God and never offer Him what he truly desires which is my heart. We give God more demands than the world give us. God just wants our hearts. So let's stop trying to cram Him into our schedules and make a Him a priority in our lives. I don't know about you but I want my heart to be in a safe place! And there is no safer place then in God’s hands.

My prayer is that God will touch the hearts of all who read this. If you know someone who needs to read this share it with them.

God Bless.

Whats Love?

Before I got engaged I had the concept of love all wrong. I thought love was an emotion that you get. I was totally oblivious to the fact that love is not an emotion. If love was just an emotion then people would fall in and out of love every hour. Growing up I was always told that Jesus is our perfect example of love when he died on the cross for our sins. But, I didn't really get what that meant. I took my love lessons from the romance movies I watched growing up. But majority of those movies don't display real love. They are fictional movies and if you’re not wise they can have you brining unrealistic expectations into your relationship.
Your significant other is not going to be perfect. But are you perfect? (I'm not) The person you love is not always going to make you feel good. Some days they are going to make you upset, and maybe even cry. They won't do this intentionally if they love you, but they will make mistakes because they are human. We all make mistakes because that's what imperfect people do. Through my relationship with Kyle, God revealed to me what Jesus's death really meant. Jesus loved us so much he died for those who loved Him, and those who hate Him. His death is an example of true love. TRUE LOVE KEEPS ON LOVING YOU! On bad days and on good days and on days when you’re just not feeling it love is still there. On days when I am upset with Kyle and on the days he makes me feel like the best thing walking our love still perseveres.
When I first told Kyle I loved him it was Valentine’s Day. He had got me roses and made me feel so special and without even thinking about it I said, I love you. He looked at me and asked me to repeat what I said. Once I realized it I quickly lied and said something else that wasn't even close (Lord forgive me). I was brought up in a generation where telling the guy first is a not good. I feel like that might even be a universal girl code. But what does a girl do when the guy doesn't say it back? I knew that Kyle knew what I said and when he brought it up later I confessed after lying 10 more times (once again God I'm sorry). But he didn't say it back. I was crushed, and I felt dumb. Spring break came about 3 weeks later and I went on a trip with my track team, and as soon as I came back Kyle told me he loved me. In my mind I was thinking what took you so long, but I was also relieved. I couldn't stay mad at Kyle for not saying I love you back when I wanted him to. When Jesus expressed His love to us we might not immediately tell Him we love Him back and mean it. Love is the greatest commandment in the bible. …"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to him, 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment’. The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF’.” (Matthew 22:36-39)
What I continue to learn about love is that it takes work and it takes two people dedicated to putting in work. Also love is a sacrifice. Kyle and I both have to deny ourselves and make sacrifices for each other. We don't allow ourselves to partake in activities that could lead us astray. We sacrifice our individualism to become one. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) Becoming one is not an easy process because God literally has to strip you of your individualistic mindset and behavior. During this continuous process I've learned a lot about myself that I didn't know and some stuff that I didn't like. But Kyle shows me grace as I show him grace. We both mess up and there is no perfect guide to being in a relationship because there is no perfect relationship. Real love just keeps on loving despite of the imperfections in the relationship.

Peoples Opinion on Our Engagement

I am about to get real honest!

After me and Kyle got engaged and it sunk in that I was really going to get married I started to worry. I wasn’t worrying about my relationship with Kyle. I was worried about what people would think of it. I was 19 years old when we got engaged (he proposed two days before my birthday). I started to think about the rude things people would say, since marriage at a young age is not common where we are from. This was seriously affecting my relationship in a negative way. I started to obsess over people’s opinions of my relationship (Big Mistake). So, I asked Kyle if her could keep it off of Facebook until I told my family and friends. Well folks, days, became weeks, and those weeks turned into months.

One day he just posted it. I got on Facebook and I am getting comments and phone calls from a ton of friends and family.  After about an hour I was feeling overwhelmed and was starting to get angry with my fiancé. I was mad at him for blind siding me with his Facebook relationship status change. But let’s be real it was time I grew up. God revealed to me Kyle was not in the wrong, but I was. Not everyone is going to like or accept the fact that I am twenty years old and I’m engaged, and that is ok. I don’t live my life to please people, I live solely to please God. I was being insecure, and worrying about the wrong things. I love people, I am such a people person (I get it from my mom) but, I can’t be a people pleaser. I put my trust in God, that He will sustain my relationship, and so far he has done just that. I have completely changed from who I was and am still changing. My relationship with Kyle has helped me develop into a better woman.  I won’t let the fear of peoples opinion hold me down anymore, and neither should you!

Our Engagement

 

As many of you may know Kyle Dillard, and I got engaged on Sunday January 19, 2014. We were walking around the lake in Sterling, KS and Kyle was acting nervous. He was fiddling with something in his pocket and we had just got done with a deep talk about our relationship and the direction it was heading in. I had ventured into a conversation about the lake and how nice it looked outside. And suddenly Kyle asked me did I love him? I first thought to myself, this is strange I know he knows I love him, but then quickly responded with a yes. He then asked could he ask me another question, I said yes. When I looked into his eyes, I knew he was about to ask me to marry hm. I frantically gave him a hug, as my mind was racing all I could remember is thinking “I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”. I finally let go, and he gets down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I said yes after trying to choke back some tears.

The love Kyle and I share is unlike any love I have experienced. We continue to learn more about each other daily and try our best to embrace each other differences. This friend is no small task. Learning how to love each other and to support each other on our bad days, and allowing God to mold us into the people he desires for us to be is a challenge. We both have to work at it, and we do not always get it right.

We are both so excited to be in this new chapter in our lives. We couldn’t and wouldn’t be doing this without God directing us along the way. With getting engaged there is a lot of “FLASH”. FLASH to us are details about the wedding that could consume us and other things that could take our focus off of God and put it on things that do not last forever. Our relationship status might have changed, but our focus has not. God is still the reason for our engagement season! I have decided to blog periodically through our engagement to hopefully encourage others who are single, in a relationship, or engaged.