A Call To Change

I believe I'm very much in the midst of a one foot in one foot out generation. The amount of us who are completely sold out for Christ has dwindled down. We are kind of in and kind of out. We can try and blame this lukewarm behavior on the fact that being a Christian isn't easy.  You will go through trial and tribulations of numerous kinds, but we were warned. John 16:33 says; “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."  I also have gone through a period of wavering back and forth between the world and my walk with Jesus. I am far from perfect, but I do serve a perfect God.

With the beginning of a new year and the end of 2014 approaching quickly I want to strive to be sold out for Christ like never before. Taking the initiative to put my relationship with God first and keep it first. What would it look like to be completely sold out for Christ? What new levels will God take you too when you devote time and effort into pursuing a relationship with him? How much stronger will you be by the end of 2015 if you turn to God and don’t look back? I want to challenge all my readers to look at their list of goals and aspirations for 2015 and put God first. Not just for a moment but for the whole year. There are two reasons I can think of that might stop people from changing in 2015. 

1. They are fearful of change. But God didn’t give us a spirit of fear.

2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” Don’t be fearful God has a great plan for you. Jeremiah 29:11 confirms it by saying, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He has a specific blessing to give to you, but will you do what it takes to receive it?

2. They are too comfortable.

People can be so comfortable in their current circumstance that they stop   trying and better themselves. There is a story in Matthew 14: 22-33 about Peter who was the only disciple who stepped out of the boat (out of his comfort zone) to walk on water towards Jesus. Everyone in the boat watched Peter take a life-changing step of faith. In 2015, DO NOT be the person who is watching people change their lives. Do not be the person inside of the boat, but be the person walking on water. Step out of your comfort zone and trust in God to take you to new levels in your relationships, in your job, and in your life. Lets look back on 2015 this time next year and say I took that step of faith and it changed my life for the better. People in the boat will try to keep you in the boat. But you have been called to do so much more!

 God Bless You All!

Direct Deposit

I am sure everyone knows what a direct deposit is but just in case....
A direct deposit is when your money goes straight from your work place into your account. You don’t have to make the transfer it automatically goes in there, it is dependable and convenient. You can withdraw it when you need to because it is already in there. 

Sometimes we need to make direct deposits into our spirit. This is when we take the word of God and directly deposit it into our spirits. So when we have to make a withdrawal we have what it takes to cover the cost. These cost include trials and tribulations but not just your own trials but also other people’s trials. People may come to you seeking advice on a situation and if you have not deposited anything into your spirit then do not be surprised when the advice you give is insufficient. You don’t have enough of the word of God in you to give Godly advice. You don’t have enough of the word of God in you to cover that trial your going through. Your coming up short and you don’t know what to do. Every time you give out advice that does not line up with the word of God your account is in the negative. Every time you tell someone something that goes against Gods word you have sinned against God. The only way to avoid this happening is by knowing what the word of God says and live by it. Psalms 119:10 says it best “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you”. Have Gods word stored up in your heart so when you need to withdraw a scripture to pass a test or to help someone else pass a test you give him or her the truth.  John 8:31 says, “So Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “if you abide in my word you are truly my disciples.”” We have to know the word of God to be disciples.  

With all the shootings and killings of innocent people is this not a time to band together as a Christian community and say look I know the world is a pretty messed up place, but let me introduce you to a man who can take the pain away. Let me point you to a God who loves you no matter what. Let me point you to the scriptures where God says his grace is sufficient. You are loved, you are beautiful, you are unique, you are a child of the most high, isn’t it time we start acting like it. How many more shootings will it take for people to realize this world is corrupt and the only true protection we have is that in Jesus Christ? Given our current circumstance we don’t need to just do a direct deposit once a month, we need to directly deposit the word of God into our spirits every day.

Lets pray,

God I pray for my sisters and brothers who are reading this. I pray that they know that you love them and care for them more then they will ever be able to understand. I pray they know that your grace is sufficient. I pray that they will be encouraged to read your word and have it stored in their hearts. I pray that you will strengthen those who are going through trials and tribulations. Let them know Father that they are not alone. It says in your word Lord that we should not be afraid or discouraged because you are with us and you will never leave us nor forsake us (Deuteronomy31:8). Bless them to hold onto you God and to be unashamed to proclaim your name. I pray these things in Jesus name.

Amen

Choosing To Love

Recently my fiancé bought a book for us to read together called, Love and Respect,  by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. The entire book is centered around Ephesians 5:33 which says, "Husbands love your wives as you love yourselves and wives submit to your husbands." Ladies before you role eyes at the word submit let’s look at its meaning within the text. There is usually a negative connotation related to the word submit. People tend to think submission means they have to bow down and take any type of treatment from their significant other but that is not true. If your husband loves you as his self, and loves you like Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25) he will not subject you to intentional physical or emotional abuse. The New Living Translation of Ephesians 5:33 replaced the word submit with respect, so it says, “Wives respect your husbands.”  The bible instructs wives to show respect and husbands to love. Sometimes we can be guilty of taking scripture and bending it to say what we desire for it to say. So some people might read Ephesians 5:33 like this, Husbands love your wives IF they show you respect and wives respect your husbands IF they show you love. A MAJOR REASON FOR THE 50% DIVORCE RATE IN AMERICA TODAY IS BECAUSE LOVE IS NOW PLACED WITH CONDITIONS NEXT TO IT. We have to make the hard choice to love those who are unloving and to respect those who are disrespectful.

LET ME BE REAL!

I am not a perfect example of this. I will admit to being disrespectful to my soon to be husband.  I’m not proud of it, but I believe in being transparent and he has forgiven me. The only person who has given us a perfect example of love without conditions is Jesus! When Jesus died on the cross for our sins his love for us was not dependent on our actions. JESUS CHOSE TO LOVE US. We need to make sure our actions are pleasing to God when dealing with someone.  Every day we are faced with thousands of choices. But one of the biggest choices we make is whether or not we are going to show Christ love and be respectful.  Regardless of our past and our sinful nature Jesus chose to love us and to die for our sins. He chose to give us hope and an opportunity to be made into a new creation.  No matter where you have been or what you have done Jesus still wants you and he still loves you! I want to encourage everybody to choose wisely and to choose love because while we were still sinners Christ died for us(Romans 5:8). The gospel fills my heart with unexplainable joy because it gives a dying world hope! No matter where you are in your spiritual life whether you have a relationship with Christ or not I want to extend an invitation to you! I want to invite you to let go of your past, and to give your life to Christ. I want to send out a message of hope that you too can be redeemed!

Let us pray;

God I don’t know whose heart this will touch but you do! I thank you so much for the words you have given me to write and I pray that someone who was about to give up won’t! I pray that they will see their ways have not been working and that they will try yours. I pray that their hope will be renewed! I pray that you will speak to them through this message and bless them to know you love them by choice, and that they don’t have to do anything to earn your love.  Touch those who are struggling to love people who hurt them and bless them to let go of the pain they are holding onto. For the people who are ready to accept you into their lives, bless them to find a supportive church family. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Hard Times

1 Peter 4:12 says, “Dear friends, don't be surprised about the fiery trials that have come among you to test you. These are not strange happenings” Even though the bible warns us that we will encounter trials I am still surprised when trials arise in my life (Are you?). When we encounter trials I believe we have three choices;

1. Try to handle whatever is going wrong alone

2. Let the circumstance overwhelm us

3. Call on the Lord and ask him for his help (trust he will help)

God has promised in his word that he would never put more on us then we could bear (1Corinthians 10:13).  But he did not say we would not put more on ourselves then we can bear. We have to-do list from here to China and are constantly wondering why we are overwhelmed. We sometimes can be spreading ourselves too thin and pouring ourselves out but not always in the name of Jesus or for Jesus but for ourselves. Sometimes we try to be superwoman and superman and by the end of the week we are exhausted because we put too much on our plates. We have to be aware when we are putting our to-do list before God.

Something I have noticed about myself never the last month is I will wear myself out for my soon to be husband. Last month he got into a car accident and it was by God’s grace that he made it out alive with no broken bones. But when he first got into the accident and I got that initial phone call from the hospital I went berserk. I was running around getting this for him, and doing this for him. He did not ask for me to do much of anything, but I wanted to show him that I could take care of him while he was banged up. I love him so much and my desire was to make sure he was taken care of down to the last detail (I get this from my mom). He got into the accident on Monday and by Saturday afternoon I had felt like I was the one in the car accident. I was so empty and tired.
 
I had completely neglected my need to sit before God and get refilled. It is like not eating for a week your body starts to shut down. My spirit needs to be fed daily and I had not fed my spirit for over a week. I was giving God these short prayers then quickly getting up to find another way to comfort Kyle. All the while, God is watching me and is saying, “Come to me and let me give you rest, Kyle is fine I protected him let me refill you, can’t you feel your spirit crying out for me.”  I neglected these calls for what I believed was my “wifely duty”. Sunday came and I went to church in no mood to worship. I was exhausted and overwhelmed. I put unfair expectations on myself to be the perfect caregiver after his accident.

This is a call to everyone out there that is doing too much or is feeling overwhelmed! For anyone and everyone feeling exhausted or absent from Gods presence.  STOP! SIT BEFORE GOD AND ALLOW HIM TO INSTRUCT YOU!

Matthew 11:28–30 • “Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest. Put on my yoke, and learn from me. I’m gentle and humble. And you will find rest for yourselves. My yoke is easy to bear, and my burden is light.”

Forgiveness??

One very difficult thing about relationships is the mistakes you make. I made mistakes in relationships before Kyle, and he made mistakes in relationships before me. And we both made mistakes in our relationship with each other. Forgiveness can be hard. Even though we love each other when I feel like he has wronged me I can and sometimes will hold a grudge. I am not proud of my behavior, and am trying to better myself in that regard but it is not an overnight process. Learning how to love properly takes time. When you love someone you don’t need to bring up past arguments or situations to prove a point. You have to leave the past in the past.  Forgive your others and forgive yourself. When we sin God doesn’t list the amount of times we committed that same sin against him and then badger us with questions like, when are you going to learn? He forgives us and shows us grace. It is so crazy how we want people to forgive us and not bring up our past mistakes but lack forgiveness in our hearts for others and even ourselves. Every day we wake up in the morning it’s a new opportunity to leave our past in our past and live for today.

No matter how hard I try I will never be able to erase the mistakes I’ve made. I have often caught myself trying to earn peoples forgiveness and most importantly God’s, but I can’t. Just like I can’t earn the love God freely gives me I also can’t earn his forgiveness. When we get stuck in past events it becomes very difficult for us to move forward. And when we lack the ability to move forward we become angry, depressed, discouraged, and so many other things. I know because there are so many things in my past that I am not proud of. One day when I was sitting in my own self-pity after reflecting on some poor decisions I made God spoke to me. He said, “No one has to accept you past but you. You’ve asked me for forgiveness and I have gracefully given it to you. Be relieved for I have rescued you and I love you just as much now as I did before despite of your sins against me. Nothing can separate you from my love.” I was in tears. God has forgiven me, but I am still very much on the journey to forgiving myself. Do not allow your past to dictate your future. Don’t hold grudges in your heart towards others when God has freely forgiven you. Allow God to heal the wounds that may still be open in your heart.

My prayer for you is that you will be free from whatever is in your past that still haunts you and hurts you. That whatever you have not forgiven yourself for that God will bless you to see yourself as He sees you. That you will be able to freely forgive others as Christ freely forgives us.  I pray you won’t look at your past the same way. And I pray that you will be able to openly share your story of redemption to others.

Two Imperfect People

My fiancé and I are not perfect people, and in no way do we want to present ourselves as perfect through the internet. Perfection is something we will never obtain and I don’t want to present to you a picture perfect couple. We have disagreements, we don’t always understand each other’s point of view, and we express our love in different ways. It’s the differences that we share that make us unique. It’s a brand new month and I want August to be all about transparency. I want my readers to know where my fiancé and I have fell short, so they can see God’s strength prevail through our weakness. I don’t want this blog or any of my social media outlets to paint a perfect picture of two imperfect people. I want you to know that we desperately need God in every area of our lives. He is our strength and our shield (Psalms 28:7). Don’t look to us but look through us to see Christ. By covering up our weakness we are not showing people where God has worked in our life. Replaying nothing but the highlights of our relationship won’t necessarily challenge you to grow in your relationship with Christ. How can we truly help and minister to people without relating to them, and allowing them to hear about our weaknesses, our defeats, and our trials. The saying God has brought me a mighty long way is not detailed enough to lift anyone’s spirits who might be going through trials similar to mine.

So let’s dig in! I am blessed to be engaged at such a young age. Not everyone I meet is super happy to hear I am in such a serious relationship at the tender age of 20. I usually brush it off and say they are just concerned for me. Recently I went home for a visit and while I was looking for wedding venues and seeing family and friends I ran into more negative comments then I initially expected. I prayed about it and tried to carry on with a cheerful attitude for the rest of my trip. I didn’t want the comments to affect me, but they did. The devil began creeping into my thoughts and started having me question my relationship. Kyle and I had a disagreement about something totally ridiculous and I started to think oh no is this going to work out. I started to question God’s intentions for blessing us to come together. I started to questions myself and ask if I was ready (because that was what everyone was asking me) and before you know it I was confused. The devil had got me in a mental and emotional funk. Kyle was so persistent on getting me to see that everything was ok and I was overreacting. I made several mistakes, BUT God stopped me from sabotaging my relationship based on the opinions of others. Listen here folks;

1 What God has for you is for you. Not everyone is going to understand God’s plan for your life and that is ok because it is His plan for Your life.

2. Don’t let people’s opinion cause you to question yourself! Put your trust in God and leave it there.

3. Love people anyway! People will be negative but you have to love them anyway if they were hard on Jesus they will be hard on you sweetie!

4. God’s timing is the best timing. He knows when to bless you with a man, a car, a job, a house, or anything else you desire. Wait on the Lord!

5.  Do not compare yourself to anyone else. God made you unique, He made you beautiful, and He made you with a specific purpose in mind. Love yourself enough to know that you don’t need to be anyone else besides who God made you to be.

Those are something’s I learned and I hope you can take something away from this blog. Please share it because you never know who needs this. Stay tuned for more blogs this month.

Are you loyal to God or nah?

Yesterday I had the privilege of speaking at my home church. I was honored when they asked me and also very nervous. I reviewed my notes, I asked God what topic he wanted me to speak on and the word loyalty came to me. After having a few moments of weakness and self doubt I went to my room and closed the door. I prayed that I would only say what God wanted me to say and that He would give me peace. Finally the moment came and I was surprisingly comfortable and excited to spread His word. He took away all self doubt and anxiety that I had. I soon realized that the message wasn’t about me, I was just the messenger it was all for Him.  I asked the church and now I ask you, who or what are you loyal to? Are you loyal to your family? Are you loyal to your friends? Are you loyal to your job? Are you loyal to God? Loyalty is a commitment, a deep devotion, a fearless faithfulness to a person or thing. Every day we face choices to be loyal to God or to be loyal to someone or something else.  Mark 10:17-24 give a good example of someone who said they wanted eternal life but when faced with a decision of loyalty he choose money over God.

Mark 10 17-24:

 ^“As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.  You know the commandments: "You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.”“Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!”

The young man made the decision to remain loyal to his wealth instead of being loyal to God. Sacrifices have to be made when building a relationship with anyone. But how much more should we be willing to sacrifice for Christ since He sacrificed His life for us? His blood was the ultimate payment for our sins. He died for the same people who beat Him, spit on Him, and disrespected Him.  And He did it so that we could be freely forgiven for the sins we commit every day. We will never be able to fully pay Him back. But how awesome is it to know that He found you so precious and loved you so much that he died for you.

Our loyalty is tested when we start going through trials of various kinds. When we are struggling, and it may seem like God is not listening. But, I want to encourage you to remain devoted to Christ and pass the loyalty test. It is through our hard times that our character and perseverance is developed. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it! That’s why it is so important to encourage each other, and if you’re going through something open up and talk about it. You don’t have to go through alone. We are here to be helpers to one another.

I NEED YOUR HELP! I can’t reach everyone alone but with your help there is no limit to how many can get ministered to through this blog. Share it with your friends and family today.

No Need for Role Play

I see a lot of people wanting to fit in! They want to be accepted by their peers and don't want to draw negative attention to themselves. I can recognize these people because I use to be one of them. I had the desire to be like everyone else. My misconceived notion of normality or coolness had me ACTING. Trying to play a part I was not casted for. I never felt particularly drawn to clubs or bars but I did it because that's what everyone else was doing my age. I never felt like I fit in but I made myself fit in. I played the part and acted like I wanted to do those things knowing I didn't. God never casted me to play a role that fit into what other people were doing. He casted me to play a role he designed specifically for me.

 Folks, we have to learn to stop turning down the roles God gives us for the roles the world wants us to play. We were all designed for a specific purpose. When will we stop trying to Fit in with the world and start standing out for God? Those who follow Christ are different. We tend to stick out because we are not of the world so no matter how good we are at acting in the world our true self will always come out. As soon as we accept the facts that we weren't born to fit in, and that we are called to a higher purpose, and that Gods plan for us is better than our plans for ourselves we can truly walk boldly on the path that God has for us. Don't be pressured into being someone you know you’re not. God loves us so much. We don't need people's pat on the backs but we need to be faithful to Gods calling. Some bible verses we should remember are as follows:

 1 Peter 2:9; “But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God's very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” 

Romans 12:2; “Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect”

John 15:16; “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you”

John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you”

God wants us to be on His team, which is why he chose us. We all want to be wanted and to be loved and to be chosen. Often times we go to people with the desires for them to fill in those areas. No one can love us more than God. His love and desire to build a relationship with us was so strong He sent his only son to die on the cross for our sins. God wants us, but He wants us to want Him back. We don’t need to try to fit in because God designed us to stand out. So let us say goodbye to playing different roles so we can fit in. And let’s say hello to walking confidently in Gods purpose for our lives.

So Many Demands To Be Good

Have you ever performed in front of 40,000 people? I haven't. That's a rough estimate of the amount of people at the World Cup. This is one of the biggest sporting events in the world. I can only imagine the amount of pressure those athletes feel to succeed. They have trained year around for this ultimate moment. For some of those players they might not get the chance again to compete at such a high level. So they have to focus devoting themselves to giving all they have and leaving the field exhausted. With such high demands how could they give anything but there best? Don't we all go through something similar? We might not be playing soccer in an arena holding 40,000 people, but don't we all have high demands on us? These demands include but are not limited to being a good wife, husband, mother, father, Christian, employer, boss, students, teacher, counselor, or big brother/ sister. Sometimes it can be very difficult to be good at anything with so many things claiming your attention, and needing you to give your best. The pressure to be good at all we do can easily becoming overwhelming.

 Our desires to be successful can consume us and stop us from building a relationship with God. Folks, to build a relationship with God we must spend time with him daily. Have you ever wanted to get to know someone but ignored there text, calls, and avoided their presence? That's a fail. I understand how busy life can get, but nothing should come before our relationship with God. He doesn't forget to wake us up, but we forget to thank Him. He doesn't forget to bless us, but we forget to tell people about Him. He's not too busy for us, but we are too busy to spend time with Him. God loves us so much but if we are being honest, can't we all admit to taking advantage of His love and grace? Constantly being too busy to give God the attention He desires. Thankfully we serve an understanding and forgiving God.

When I spend time with God consistently I am more patient, I have more peace, little things don't annoy me as easily, and I'm much more joyful. The trouble comes when I separate myself from my MAIN source of love, strength, joy, and compassion. When I'm away from my Heavenly Father I'm not spreading His word, He's not being seen through me, and I'm not at my best. If we can be intentional about working out, eating right, spending time with friends, we need to be intentional about spending time with God. 

Some people asked me, what do I do when I spend time with God? I journal, listen to worship music, talk to him, read and study His word, and just simply enjoy being in his presence. We have to stop letting to do list take over our lives, and start letting God in to do that. Nothing on a typical to do list will save you or help you through tough times or fix your insecurities. Let go and let God! I know I'm guilty of saying with my mouth I want a closer relationship with God, but not letting my actions reflect it. I might have a week of praying daily and sitting in God’s presence but then I will get busy. Life will get me caught up and all of the sudden it's been 2 or 3 days before I sit and speak with God. I've noticed many times in my relationship with God its take, take, take from God and never offer Him what he truly desires which is my heart. We give God more demands than the world give us. God just wants our hearts. So let's stop trying to cram Him into our schedules and make a Him a priority in our lives. I don't know about you but I want my heart to be in a safe place! And there is no safer place then in God’s hands.

My prayer is that God will touch the hearts of all who read this. If you know someone who needs to read this share it with them.

God Bless.

Whats Love?

Before I got engaged I had the concept of love all wrong. I thought love was an emotion that you get. I was totally oblivious to the fact that love is not an emotion. If love was just an emotion then people would fall in and out of love every hour. Growing up I was always told that Jesus is our perfect example of love when he died on the cross for our sins. But, I didn't really get what that meant. I took my love lessons from the romance movies I watched growing up. But majority of those movies don't display real love. They are fictional movies and if you’re not wise they can have you brining unrealistic expectations into your relationship.
Your significant other is not going to be perfect. But are you perfect? (I'm not) The person you love is not always going to make you feel good. Some days they are going to make you upset, and maybe even cry. They won't do this intentionally if they love you, but they will make mistakes because they are human. We all make mistakes because that's what imperfect people do. Through my relationship with Kyle, God revealed to me what Jesus's death really meant. Jesus loved us so much he died for those who loved Him, and those who hate Him. His death is an example of true love. TRUE LOVE KEEPS ON LOVING YOU! On bad days and on good days and on days when you’re just not feeling it love is still there. On days when I am upset with Kyle and on the days he makes me feel like the best thing walking our love still perseveres.
When I first told Kyle I loved him it was Valentine’s Day. He had got me roses and made me feel so special and without even thinking about it I said, I love you. He looked at me and asked me to repeat what I said. Once I realized it I quickly lied and said something else that wasn't even close (Lord forgive me). I was brought up in a generation where telling the guy first is a not good. I feel like that might even be a universal girl code. But what does a girl do when the guy doesn't say it back? I knew that Kyle knew what I said and when he brought it up later I confessed after lying 10 more times (once again God I'm sorry). But he didn't say it back. I was crushed, and I felt dumb. Spring break came about 3 weeks later and I went on a trip with my track team, and as soon as I came back Kyle told me he loved me. In my mind I was thinking what took you so long, but I was also relieved. I couldn't stay mad at Kyle for not saying I love you back when I wanted him to. When Jesus expressed His love to us we might not immediately tell Him we love Him back and mean it. Love is the greatest commandment in the bible. …"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to him, 'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND. This is the great and foremost commandment’. The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF’.” (Matthew 22:36-39)
What I continue to learn about love is that it takes work and it takes two people dedicated to putting in work. Also love is a sacrifice. Kyle and I both have to deny ourselves and make sacrifices for each other. We don't allow ourselves to partake in activities that could lead us astray. We sacrifice our individualism to become one. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24) Becoming one is not an easy process because God literally has to strip you of your individualistic mindset and behavior. During this continuous process I've learned a lot about myself that I didn't know and some stuff that I didn't like. But Kyle shows me grace as I show him grace. We both mess up and there is no perfect guide to being in a relationship because there is no perfect relationship. Real love just keeps on loving despite of the imperfections in the relationship.

Peoples Opinion on Our Engagement

I am about to get real honest!

After me and Kyle got engaged and it sunk in that I was really going to get married I started to worry. I wasn’t worrying about my relationship with Kyle. I was worried about what people would think of it. I was 19 years old when we got engaged (he proposed two days before my birthday). I started to think about the rude things people would say, since marriage at a young age is not common where we are from. This was seriously affecting my relationship in a negative way. I started to obsess over people’s opinions of my relationship (Big Mistake). So, I asked Kyle if her could keep it off of Facebook until I told my family and friends. Well folks, days, became weeks, and those weeks turned into months.

One day he just posted it. I got on Facebook and I am getting comments and phone calls from a ton of friends and family.  After about an hour I was feeling overwhelmed and was starting to get angry with my fiancé. I was mad at him for blind siding me with his Facebook relationship status change. But let’s be real it was time I grew up. God revealed to me Kyle was not in the wrong, but I was. Not everyone is going to like or accept the fact that I am twenty years old and I’m engaged, and that is ok. I don’t live my life to please people, I live solely to please God. I was being insecure, and worrying about the wrong things. I love people, I am such a people person (I get it from my mom) but, I can’t be a people pleaser. I put my trust in God, that He will sustain my relationship, and so far he has done just that. I have completely changed from who I was and am still changing. My relationship with Kyle has helped me develop into a better woman.  I won’t let the fear of peoples opinion hold me down anymore, and neither should you!

Our Engagement

 

As many of you may know Kyle Dillard, and I got engaged on Sunday January 19, 2014. We were walking around the lake in Sterling, KS and Kyle was acting nervous. He was fiddling with something in his pocket and we had just got done with a deep talk about our relationship and the direction it was heading in. I had ventured into a conversation about the lake and how nice it looked outside. And suddenly Kyle asked me did I love him? I first thought to myself, this is strange I know he knows I love him, but then quickly responded with a yes. He then asked could he ask me another question, I said yes. When I looked into his eyes, I knew he was about to ask me to marry hm. I frantically gave him a hug, as my mind was racing all I could remember is thinking “I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN”. I finally let go, and he gets down on one knee and ask me to marry him. I said yes after trying to choke back some tears.

The love Kyle and I share is unlike any love I have experienced. We continue to learn more about each other daily and try our best to embrace each other differences. This friend is no small task. Learning how to love each other and to support each other on our bad days, and allowing God to mold us into the people he desires for us to be is a challenge. We both have to work at it, and we do not always get it right.

We are both so excited to be in this new chapter in our lives. We couldn’t and wouldn’t be doing this without God directing us along the way. With getting engaged there is a lot of “FLASH”. FLASH to us are details about the wedding that could consume us and other things that could take our focus off of God and put it on things that do not last forever. Our relationship status might have changed, but our focus has not. God is still the reason for our engagement season! I have decided to blog periodically through our engagement to hopefully encourage others who are single, in a relationship, or engaged.